toffee, all the inanimate objects that occupy my mind from time to time, and every other thing that comes in between.
my sisters, my family, my friends, my colleagues, my teachers, my mentors, those who love me, those who hate me, those who don't care, and everybody else in between.
my books, my thoughts, what i think about, what i dream about, where i want to be, when i want to live, and everything else in between.
my heart, my emotions, my feelings, my opinions. what i want, what i need, what i wish for, what i hope to do. and everything else in between.
i wonder what's in store for the philippines. another fiscal crisis? economic growth? war? gloria macapagal arroyo grows a bit taller? hrmm.. hrmm.. hrmm.. whatever it is, I say: bring it on! we Filipinos survived 2 massive hurricanes/storms, a crazed dictator, an actor who fancied himself as a president, another actor who, fortunately, did not become president [God rest ye soul], a 'fiscal crisis', and other such tragic annomalies.
i wonder what's in store for the world. another war? its not that impossible. with blood-hungry george back in power, another round of faceless dead bodies, and nuclear bombings could be a thing of a few moments from now. will the cure for cancer or for HIV or for AIDS be discovered this year? i hope so... not just because I want those who are afflicted with these diseases to finally find rest and resolution [i'm not entirely good you know], its also because I have a very selfish nature. At least, if ever [and I hope to God I NEVER] get any of these fatal diseases a cure would be available in the local drugstore. will Harry Potter 6 be released this year? [hehehe...]
i wonder what's in store for my friends and family. i wonder if the prom will be a success. i wonder a lot about a lot of things. i wonder what's in store for me. will i pass the ateneo thing? will i have a prom date by february 25? will i ever get the energy to fix my room and my stuff? will i be able to buy the awesome dress in chocolate?
we'll find out in a few hours, days, months, and years. 2005, here i come!
Destiny isn't something we should trust or depend on. We're not even sure if it really exists. -Izza Castelo, my lovely seatmate.
its quite natural for us human beings to zone off once in a while... when we get bored, or we become totally engrossed in what we're doing, we sorta shut off the world and detach ourselves from everything else that's going on around us.
but... that's not the case with me...
i've been zoning out quite frequently for the past few weeks. there are times that i seem catatonic to others, without my knowledge. i don't respond; not because i don't want to, but because i don't KNOW that i have to.
i think my spirit's floating off into the next world.
*freakiest instances where this phenomena can be observed:
-on the night of the 27th of December, my elder sister and I stayed up late to make a special greeting card for our father. We slept in her room that night, and planned to wake up early the following day to catch our dad before he went to work so that we can greet him properly. I set the alarm at 6:00 am, and before I went to sleep, I checked the clock again to make sure the alarm was set. ...I woke up at 7:20 a.m. the following day. I panicked, and saw that my sister was also still sleeping. I gently [okay, that's a sarcasatic remark but... :)) ] awakened her and told her that we were late. she said that the alarm woke her up, and she tried to rouse me, but no amount of pinching and prodding would get me up and about, so she went back to sleep. ...now, I'm known to be one of the lighest sleepers in our house. A soft noise would rouse me instantly. HOW COULD I NOT BE WOKEN UP BY A FREAKIN' ALARM??
-just a while ago I was writing my Jane Eyre paper for English. My ate claims that she went in and demanded that I help her cook carbonara for the guests downstairs, and that I didn't respond to this request [another sarcastic term/remark :)) ] at all. ...I have no recollection of this incident...
shhh-ite! i'm dying... i'm dying... i'm dying... and soon i'll be dead.
I'd rather be thin than famous.
—Jack Kerouac [one of Sumire's favorite writers. <<==a character in Haruki Murakami's Sputnik Sweetheart] [and just for the record, i totally agree with Jack]
yes... sadly, this is all so very real. mutti has struck again. with her all-too-perfectly effective tactics of making one feel absolutely like the shite-iest person in the whole wide world, she bombarded my once, happy dimension with acrid remarks and fatal-blow-inducing comments.
suddenly, i don't even want to go to the prom anymore...
"I'm dying for something, I'm living for nothing..." -'At the Top of My Lungs' by Dashboard Confessional
In a world where we are all made the same, how can one stand out? ...RISE TO THE OCCASION!
there are but a few days to go before the start of term commences. its a scary thought actually. going back to school. i have yet to produce any of the unreasonable projects our equally unreasonable and malevolent teachers have inflicted upon us. and there is the ever pressing matter regarding the preparations for our promenade. its like an insistent bell that does not wish to cease ringing in the corner of my mind. its as if i have tinitus, and i can't stop hearing warnings and signals.
sigh... soon, i won't be able to post much, as my time would be eaten up by homeworks, council work, and prom work, and other such rigourous, and taxing tasks. soon, the monotonic and decadent state of things shall resume, and i would once again wish that i could just curl up into a ball, cover my whole being with a heavenly quilt, and close my eyes... never to open them again.
musings of a raving lunatic [ergo, me]:
change is the only constant thing in life. though it is most difficult to cope with change, we must. it is survival. it is evolution. but then again. what if this change is brought about by paranormal sensations and emotions, unforeseen circumstances, hormonal imbalances, and... the weather? what if this change is caused by things that are not things. forces that are immaterial? how do we cope? how do we end the relentless and crazed see-saw of intense emotions churning deep within us? how do we stop misery? how do we prolong happiness? with a four millimeter bullet? with a cup of peppermint-tasting cyanide? with prayer? i don't know. i can't even begin to pretend to know, or to comprehend. and i'm sure, neither can you. and its scares me. it scares us. that this we cannot understand. everything else --science, mathematics, ratios, proportions, wars, peace talks, chocolate sprinkles and gum drops, ponies and rabbits, Nobel awards-- we know. but this, this simple shift of light and darkness, this slight distinction, this sudden rearranging of matter, molecules, and sensations. this indescribable phenomena. this we cannot even begin to grasp. illogical, senseless, strange, odd. fleeting, momentous, gargantuan, colossal. what is the meaning behind this change in mood? in feeling? what is the real root? the common cause? perhaps we have been doomed to be this way. to not understand. to be left in the dark. doomed to be able to adapt with everything else but this simple swing. this simplistic issue. never to find a way to evolve around it. but perhaps.... in this case, evolution is not survival. for if you can just grin and bear it. take it for what it is. let go of the logic behind it. perhaps then, survival is possible. change is not imperative. accepting is a prerogative, the answer, the key.
==>the more difficult thing to cope with than change, is normality. a dose of the same bitter medicine every single damned day of your life.
What makes us people? What defines a person? What traits must one have in order to be considered a “person?” Any dictionary would tell you that a person is either a man, woman, or child; a human being; an entity having a complete set of limbs, appendages, sensory organs, etc etc; a being capable of executing various life processes and physical activities. But then again, there are those whose legs have been surgically removed, whose eyeballs are purely artificial, and whose faces are made of latex and synthetic rubber. They—though not in possession of a perfect set of body parts—are considered human, persons just like their “complete” counterparts.
Perhaps there is something deeper within the body that defines one’s humanity, that proves one to be a person; a thing that is not a thing; an intangible essence that lies beyond the neurons and mitochondrion of the body. What separates us people from robots… from a ten-foot gorilla? For don’t these creatures also possess body parts, and are capable of being? What sets us apart from the rest of the organisms that roam this earth? I believe that it is our core, our soul that identifies us as humans, to be a person. Of course, other beings also have spirits, but there is something outstanding about the human soul. This enigma, this ethereal quality enables us to have our own distinct personality. It defines our humanity because it gives us the chance to develop our own individuality, a trait that no other life form in this world can claim for its own.
Thus, the method in which one describes one’s soul is the manner in which one sees himself as a person since it is our soul that distinguishes us as people, and effectively proves us to be of human descent.My next statement may come as somewhat contradictory. I have shared earlier my belief that it is our human soul that makes us unique and different, for other organisms cannot possibly duplicate this gift that God has bestowed upon us. I would describe my soul, my personality, as something quite ordinary. I believe I am not outstanding. I am commonplace and very much forgettable. But it is in acknowledging my commonness that I have become uncommon. For in accepting this weakness, I am growing to become a better person. It is because I am aware of my utter unoriginality that I can strive to improve myself so that I may soon become someone special. In this way, I see myself as human, as a person. Persons have the natural instinct to survive, to participate in this long running competition to dominate the species. In my quest to become better, I try to become unforgettable; to survive long enough to stand out in a sea of nameless faces.
This task is not simple. Change, though the only constant thing in life, has never been an undemanding process. But one must start somewhere. In my Junior year in Assumption Antipolo, I have grabbed all the opportunities that I could, to revolutionize myself, to begin a newness, a brighter chapter in my life. As I involve myself in more extracurricular work and give a hand in organizing different projects, I feel a change happening within me, and a hope begins to burgeon in my heart; a hope that someday, I may accomplish what I have set out to do: to become someone worthy of great things; someone who has found herself, and in a way, has added light to her surroundings, helping overcome the darkness gnawing at the contours of the world that she lives in, and shares with the rest of humanity. I feel that the realization of this dream is nearing, and I strive ever so much harder to get to that point in time, the dawning of a new era in my life.
suddenly, i am no longer in the mood tah remember all the passages and musings i have been passionately typing for the past hour. [gawd, sayang ang internet time...] so i'll just post some silly quotes i've encountered while pretending to be doing ip work. :))
"When they put unknown at the end of a quote, that means they probably don't no how to spell anonymous" -unknown
"Dilbert's Words of Wisdom: You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter."
"I did my homework! I just forgot to write it down." –Anonymous [definitely an award winning excuse!]
The entire world's a stage; I didn't get cast!
I love him, O yes I do,He's for me, not for you,And if by chance you take my place,I'll take my fist and smash your face!
Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons! For you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup!
Guys are like lava lamps there fun to look at just not so bright!
It takes 42 muscels to smile, so instead pick up your middle finger andsay bite me in a bitchy tone!
A Laundromat: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHING WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT
Consciousness- that annoying time between naps
December 23, 2004 - *Crystal Coast Restaurant* - roasting marshmallows with Daddy-flowerpower and Talia-dearest as we wait for our food...
December 24, 2004 - *Crystal Coast, In front of Cabana 4* - family pic with Lola Celia and Lola Nelia, on our way home...
December 24, 2004 - *Up in the Big Blue Sky?? Philippine Airlines Jet* - hehe, malapit na akong ma-motion sickness! :)) turbulence, turbulence!
December 24, 2004 - *NAIA Centennial Airport* - waiting for our baggage. hmm... daming cute foreigners! :))
December 22, 2004 - *Balicasag Shoreline* This picture pretty much sums up the whole Bohol experience for me. Carefree, liberated, and innocent. As we savored the gentle touch of the cool breeze, we let go of all our thoughts, and let the sound of the waves wash away our worries. I posted some of my other favorite pictures here. Its kinda hard to put into words an experience you've just encountered, especially if its a profound one. As they say, "a picture paints a thousand words," and i hope these pictures would be able to give you a glimpse of the 5 wonderful days my family and i spent in the remote island of Bohol...
December 19, 2004 - *airport* waiting for the plane [obviously! :) ] - Talia, Ate Cheska, and moi w/ innocent bystander 1 and innocent bystander 2 in the background.
December 21, 2004 - *Chocolate Hills Viewing Deck* - hindi halata pero its SOOOO FREAKIN' COLD DYAN! grabe! no wonder the locals call the place 'little baguio'! [and i thought it was just coz the road was long, winding, steep, and zig-zaggy...]
December 21, 2004 - *Man-made Forest* - "Hitchiking"
December 21, 2004 - *Blood Compact Monument* - Tumatagay kasabay sina Lapu-Lapz and Magellnz
December 21, 2004 - *Chocolate Hills Viewing Deck* - Shivering to death with Talia-dearest :)
December 21, 2004 - *One of the Old Churches we Visited... ;p* - foolin' around in the backyard with Ate Cheska
December 21, 2004 - "Loboc River Cruise* - after eating [explains why our faces look bloated :)) ]
December 21, 2004 - *Crystal Coast, Cabana 4* - Back in the hotel, waiting for the sun block tah seep intah our buh-diez.
December 21, 2004 - *Stores along the Loboc River* - Small Eyes with Sleeping Yoda Man [wake up little guy! wake up! :)) ]
December 22, 2004 - *Crystal Coast, Cabana 4* - just took a bath, looking all so very bangag!
December 22, 2004 - *Balicasag Island* - Resting a bit, just went snorkeling. I keep hearing Talia's voice in my head: "Ate, Ate, ang daming Nemo atsaka Dori! Tee-hee-hee!" ...can anybody say grrr?... :))
Mutti and Vatti have left the building! they left at around 3 p.m. to go to New Manila n' visit one of our crazy relatives. i was supposed to go, but then ate decided to stay at home, and so [being the loyal and loving sister that i SO am :))] i decided to stay home to. ok! lets cut the bullcrap, i decided to stay home coz i am so freakin' tired, and frankly, without my dear sister, going to some god forsaken village in the middle of conoticerz city, would be nothing short of torture and absolute damnation. not that i don't enjoy being with the other familia membroze... talia's okay, just as long as she doesn't adopt the trying-so-hard-to-still-be-kiddie-so-she-keeps-on-whinning-in-that-pacute-voice-even-though-halatang-matanda-na-siya-routine. and contrary to popular belief, mum's quite alright, but then there ARE the constant biatch fits, and fits of not-so-very-righteous-indignation. dad's not half bad, but really, when a person's been absent half of your life, you really don't have much in common, now, do you? pero masaya kasama si daddy, especially when we talk about music [elvis, josh, john, and everybody else in between], national geographic [and that's why, _____'s BUILT FOR THE KILL], and the iron chef [who shall reign supreme?!] and when he's unusually generous. lola? ...hm... don't get me started. i've never been good at dealing with the older settov feefol, but we do get along splendidly. so here i am, stuck in the house without much to do. I've just finished reading Veronika Decides to Die by Paulo Coelho. For the past few weeks I've been feeling a bit rotten, and yesterday, the climax to this sudden series of depressing days came. I made the fatal decision to terminate my "career" [if you can call it that] as a public servant [pucha, yabang ko ha! :)) ]. But after reading Monsieur Coelho's work, I couldn't help but become a little bit inspired. Feelings so very close to joy and clarity crept into my heart. doubts concerning my earlier decision about my "career" appeared out of nowhere [and i can't really say that the sudden appearance of such doubts are tragic or unwanted]. There were quite a lot of passages in the book that struck me dumb. One of the lines that got me thinking the most is this one: "The two hardest tests in the spiritual road: the patience to wait for the right moment and THE COURAGE NOT TO BE DISAPPOINTED WITH WHAT YOU ENCOUNTER." i've been ever so ready to quit this road and shite because of the many disappointing facts that have reached my ears about my batchmates. but after perusing that line... wala lang... naalala ko tuloy ung sinabi ng friend ko: "ba't di ka magtrabaho hanggang sa hindi na sila maging disappointing?" but like i said in my last entry, i have a strong belief that this sudden moment of inspiration will be brief and short. for a while i'll think na, yes, i have what it takes to continue. but the new morning will come and then i'll go back to my old way of thinking. i am not enough, and i shall never be. and for once, [despite the fact that i am a competetive person who does her best in everything and never gives up] i'm content. i'm letting go, because i know its impossible to do what i want to. i'm going to Bohol tomorrow, to go and swim with the Butandings, and soak up the warmth of the sun. i'll be back on the 24th... [as if may nagbabasa ng blog ko anoh?! :)) ] anyway, that's all for now. "I would say that if someone only has a short time to live and decides to spend that time sitting beside a bed, watching a man sleeping, then that must be love. I'd go even further: if, during that time, that person has a heart attack, but sits on in silence, just so as to remain close to the man, I would say that such love had a lot of potential for growth." -Zedka to Veronika, as Veronika watches over Eduardo in Vilette. 'Veronika Decides to Die' by Paulo Coelho
*pasko na sinta ko, hanaphanap kita...* sang the Komusikasyon Club, hours ago in the Assumpta Theater, as all the students of Assumption Antipolo, together with the faculty, gathered to celebrate the last school day of year 2004... and i couldn't agree more. pasko na, at hinahanap-hanap ko ang aking dating sinisinta. ;) as goosebumps formed on my arms and at the back of my neck because of the poignancy, and the bittersweetness of that moment, it finally dawned on me: PASKO NA NGA. and a sunburst of energy, and a spurt of hope blossomed in my heart. seemed like my gone were the worries of yesterday, gone were the suicidal thoughts of moments ago... this day has been one of the longest school days i've ever been through [literally, coz we were in school from 7:00 am to 6:00 p.m.], and it has also been one of the funnest and craziest days i've ever spent in the walls of Assumption Antipolo. i got the chance to bond some more with the SC [my partner, Grace, gave me a PUCCA bag!!!! vintage-y looking pa siya, so uber asTeeg!], i also bonded with the 'kada [my exchange gift paddner, Nicatots, gave me a pink shirt! and assorted kikay goodies!!! :D], and lastly, i got to be with my batchmates [we played funky games.... sobrang saya. bring me! :))] sa lahat ng mga toh, i realized one important thing: na desidido na akong hindi ako mag-rurun for rep next year. its so hard, so freakin' lonely up in the mountain... tas sobrang may mga bagay na nalalaman tungkol sa batch na sana hindi ko na lang nalaman... parang nakakadismaya, nakakadisappoint. you've been reaching for something, pero ung something na un, hindi naman pala kung ano ung inaakala mo.... vague ba? vague talaga dapat! :))syempre i got a bit saddo... but still, at least na klaro na un sa utak ko. no more doubts. solid na. crystal clear. hmm..... nung pauwi na, uber kudos coz i got the visual plan of the prom back na. and uber cool coz ms. arcads, ms. aguils, and sr. carls signed it agad! of course may minor revisions sa rationale and stuff pero, super minor lang. tas pinayagan pa na half a centimeter thick lang ung straps, and asymmetrical tops gusto payagan ng A-Team! uber cool noh? sila pa ung nangungunsinting magshow ng bittof zkin! :)) super, xmas gift talaga toh. na masignan agad ung vish plan. God is gwweat! yeahbanez! hmm... 2 weeks away from school... i'm gonna miss my buddies ever so much. but in any case, this temporary respite from the rigors of high school life is very much welcome. my body is sated, my mind is at rest. and though my heart is still mending, i feel its complete recovery shall come soon. for now, the world is pristine in my eyes. for now, for now... i wonder how long this moment will last, for people say that happiness is the most elusive of wonders, and that when it comes, it is sudden and abrupt, like a fleeting glance that seers an image of something beautiful into your brain. "How happy is the blameless Vestal's lot! / The world forgetting, by the world forgot / Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind! / Each pray'r accepted, and each wish resign'd." -Alexander Pope, 'Eloisa to Abelard'
Fudge Barkada!
i would do anything, and i mean ANYTHING... i'd move the heavens and the earth, part the seven seas, retrieve the Holy Grail... ANYTHING... just to make things go back to the way they were when i was a kid. i would give up anything, even Toffee, just to make his feelings for me go away.i mean, of course i feel guilty and crap... and i just don't wanna FEEL this way anymore. and the fact na pinagdudutdutan pa sa pagmumukha ko ng ibang mga pipol na sobrang heartless ko... GRRRR! i get the freakin' picture, ayt?! but you have to understand... i can't force myself to like someone in an instant! sure he's mabait and all... and i really would like to get closer to him, AS A FRIEND.
i mean come on! get real... we've seen each other for how many times? TWICE! i've known him for how long? A FEW FRIGGIN MONTHS! why can't we just be friends?i really, really, cannot take this anymore.
I'm just a kid. Leave me to my teddy bears, chocolates, and gum drops. i'm not yet willing to leave the sandbox...
just sleeping or dead? personally, i prefer the latter...
its 6:54 p.m., i have two tests tomorrow, an activity to host, a make up quiz to take, and a lab experiment i have to perform... and here i am frying my brain cells over the internet. i guess, i've finally taken leave of my senses... :D hmm... hmm... hmm... okay. no idea as to what i should write. just wanted to try this out... this bloggy thingy everyone i know seems to be liking ever so much. its ok, i guess... gives you perspective, a chance to rant, rave, cuss, and express your deepest, most repressed feelings. hmm... siguro i've been craving to have an account coz... well... i find that i've lost the ability to rant, rave, cuss, and express my deepest, most repressed feelings because... for the first time in my whole life, i do not understand how i feel. i don't even KNOW how i feel. it scares the shiites outta me. one things for sure: i am not a happy gurl. hindi ko nman alam kung bakit. matino naman ang familia ngayon, my 'kadas tight as ever, the tropa'z doin ayt, visual plan's already being perused by the 3 aswangerz, i have but 2 tests to study for, and its almost xmas break... hmm... hmmm... hmm........... [biglang DING!] ahh gets... [ang labo ko! :D] wahaha... suddenly it dawns on me... wala pa akong prom date! :)) nah, actually, its not that, coz i don't really give a damn if i get a decent date or not. its just that everytime the subject comes up, i remember a certain someone who promised he'd come home for xmas and stay til my prom's done. *sigh* i guess... he's forgotten ;)==>yup, i know, uber babaw ko to be ever so affected by such a small thing. pero... marami na rin kaming pinagdaanan. and i guess i just miss him, coz it was this time last year that things started to get real ***** between us [if y'know what i mean...] and even though i know he's nothing but a spineless son of a bitch / jerk / womanizer... i can't deny the fact that i miss him. and i can't deny the fact that it pains me so much to know that he's not even thinking about me right now...-->*sigh* sige, aral na ako algeb and geom... good bye UP, good bye ateneo! hello reject! :D gawd, i hope i pass my midqts... "My blood pounded in my chest and I knew my heart'sstrength would soon be exhausted. I saved myself without thinking. I grasped the two syllables closest to me, and replaced my heartbeat with your name..." -Anne Michaels, "Fugitive Pieces"
"Those who breathed deep suffocated. Those who assersted themselves by dying." -Anne Michaels, 'Fugitive Pieces'
definitely no longer searching for utopia, an ergaslophobic student and aspiring thespian, a true blue Filipina and Assumptionist, existing in a state of utter discombobulation, *BROKE*, and fattening myself up in time for the next human sacrifice ritual in tondo, manila...
Stars and Nebulas
aLi
bea
cathy
caMs
[[twinstaR]]
[[fRienD]]
kaTrina
gaDDi
iSSa
jOnesie
[[myky]]
[[nica]]
pam
[[stephie]]
synty
[[tasia]]
trizza
wissa
Flight
Alanis Morissette
Carbon Stereoxide Studio Notes
Cold Play
Dashboard Confessional
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Haruki Murakami
Milk&Cereal
Miss Saigon
Paulo Coelho
Rent - the Musicale
Shawn Mullins
System of a Down
The Simpsons
The Sims
The Used
::Credits::
Image By:
|j3concepts|
Layout By:
|Niknoi|
||December 2004
|January 2005
|February 2005
|March 2005
|April 2005
|May 2005
|June 2005
==:::A Few Friendly Reminders from your Resident Sane Psycho:::==
life is an unequivocally fast paced string of events, where the essence of a lifetime can be captured in a single breath, love can develop in a second, and where a long journey can feel like just another ride in the metro rail...
so put on your pink tinted glasses, wear your cheesiest smile. life's too short and much too precious to waste with the frivolities of a shallow existence.
let's limbo!
change is the only constant thing in life.
though it is most difficult to cope with change, we must.
it is survival. it is evolution.
but then again,
what if this change is brought about by paranormal sensations and emotions, unforeseen circumstances, hormonal imbalances, and... the weather?
what if this change is caused by things that are not things. forces that are immaterial?
how do we cope?
how do we end the relentless and crazed see-saw of intense emotions churning deep within us?
how do we stop misery?
how do we prolong happiness?
with a four millimeter bullet?
with a cup of peppermint-tasting cyanide?
with prayer?
i don't know.
i can't even begin to pretend to know, or to comprehend.
and i'm sure,
neither can you.
and it scares me.
it scares us.
that this we cannot understand.
everything else --science, mathematics, ratios, proportions, wars, peace talks, chocolate sprinkles and gum drops, ponies and rabbits, Nobel awards-- we know.
but this,
this simple shift of light and darkness,
this slight distinction,
this sudden rearranging of matter, molecules, and sensations.
this indescribable phenomena.
this we cannot even begin to grasp.
illogical, senseless, strange, odd.
fleeting, momentous, gargantuan, colossal.
what is the meaning behind this change in mood? in feeling?
what is the real root? the common cause?
perhaps we have been doomed to be this way.
to not understand.
to be left in the dark.
doomed to be able to adapt with everything else but this simple swing.
this simplistic issue.
never to find a way to evolve around it.
but perhaps.... in this case,
evolution is not survival.
for if you can just grin and bear it.
take it for what it is.
let go of the logic behind it.
perhaps then, survival is possible.
change is not imperative.
accepting is a prerogative, the answer, the key.
