its 6:54 p.m., i have two tests tomorrow, an activity to host, a make up quiz to take, and a lab experiment i have to perform... and here i am frying my brain cells over the internet. i guess, i've finally taken leave of my senses... :D hmm... hmm... hmm... okay. no idea as to what i should write. just wanted to try this out... this bloggy thingy everyone i know seems to be liking ever so much. its ok, i guess... gives you perspective, a chance to rant, rave, cuss, and express your deepest, most repressed feelings. hmm... siguro i've been craving to have an account coz... well... i find that i've lost the ability to rant, rave, cuss, and express my deepest, most repressed feelings because... for the first time in my whole life, i do not understand how i feel. i don't even KNOW how i feel. it scares the shiites outta me. one things for sure: i am not a happy gurl. hindi ko nman alam kung bakit. matino naman ang familia ngayon, my 'kadas tight as ever, the tropa'z doin ayt, visual plan's already being perused by the 3 aswangerz, i have but 2 tests to study for, and its almost xmas break... hmm... hmmm... hmm........... [biglang DING!] ahh gets... [ang labo ko! :D] wahaha... suddenly it dawns on me... wala pa akong prom date! :)) nah, actually, its not that, coz i don't really give a damn if i get a decent date or not. its just that everytime the subject comes up, i remember a certain someone who promised he'd come home for xmas and stay til my prom's done. *sigh* i guess... he's forgotten ;)==>yup, i know, uber babaw ko to be ever so affected by such a small thing. pero... marami na rin kaming pinagdaanan. and i guess i just miss him, coz it was this time last year that things started to get real ***** between us [if y'know what i mean...] and even though i know he's nothing but a spineless son of a bitch / jerk / womanizer... i can't deny the fact that i miss him. and i can't deny the fact that it pains me so much to know that he's not even thinking about me right now...-->*sigh* sige, aral na ako algeb and geom... good bye UP, good bye ateneo! hello reject! :D gawd, i hope i pass my midqts... "My blood pounded in my chest and I knew my heart'sstrength would soon be exhausted. I saved myself without thinking. I grasped the two syllables closest to me, and replaced my heartbeat with your name..." -Anne Michaels, "Fugitive Pieces"
definitely no longer searching for utopia, an ergaslophobic student and aspiring thespian, a true blue Filipina and Assumptionist, existing in a state of utter discombobulation, *BROKE*, and fattening myself up in time for the next human sacrifice ritual in tondo, manila...
Stars and Nebulas
aLi
bea
cathy
caMs
[[twinstaR]]
[[fRienD]]
kaTrina
gaDDi
iSSa
jOnesie
[[myky]]
[[nica]]
pam
[[stephie]]
synty
[[tasia]]
trizza
wissa
Flight
Alanis Morissette
Carbon Stereoxide Studio Notes
Cold Play
Dashboard Confessional
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Haruki Murakami
Milk&Cereal
Miss Saigon
Paulo Coelho
Rent - the Musicale
Shawn Mullins
System of a Down
The Simpsons
The Sims
The Used
::Credits::
Image By:
|j3concepts|
Layout By:
|Niknoi|
||December 2004
|January 2005
|February 2005
|March 2005
|April 2005
|May 2005
|June 2005
==:::A Few Friendly Reminders from your Resident Sane Psycho:::==
life is an unequivocally fast paced string of events, where the essence of a lifetime can be captured in a single breath, love can develop in a second, and where a long journey can feel like just another ride in the metro rail...
so put on your pink tinted glasses, wear your cheesiest smile. life's too short and much too precious to waste with the frivolities of a shallow existence.
let's limbo!
change is the only constant thing in life.
though it is most difficult to cope with change, we must.
it is survival. it is evolution.
but then again,
what if this change is brought about by paranormal sensations and emotions, unforeseen circumstances, hormonal imbalances, and... the weather?
what if this change is caused by things that are not things. forces that are immaterial?
how do we cope?
how do we end the relentless and crazed see-saw of intense emotions churning deep within us?
how do we stop misery?
how do we prolong happiness?
with a four millimeter bullet?
with a cup of peppermint-tasting cyanide?
with prayer?
i don't know.
i can't even begin to pretend to know, or to comprehend.
and i'm sure,
neither can you.
and it scares me.
it scares us.
that this we cannot understand.
everything else --science, mathematics, ratios, proportions, wars, peace talks, chocolate sprinkles and gum drops, ponies and rabbits, Nobel awards-- we know.
but this,
this simple shift of light and darkness,
this slight distinction,
this sudden rearranging of matter, molecules, and sensations.
this indescribable phenomena.
this we cannot even begin to grasp.
illogical, senseless, strange, odd.
fleeting, momentous, gargantuan, colossal.
what is the meaning behind this change in mood? in feeling?
what is the real root? the common cause?
perhaps we have been doomed to be this way.
to not understand.
to be left in the dark.
doomed to be able to adapt with everything else but this simple swing.
this simplistic issue.
never to find a way to evolve around it.
but perhaps.... in this case,
evolution is not survival.
for if you can just grin and bear it.
take it for what it is.
let go of the logic behind it.
perhaps then, survival is possible.
change is not imperative.
accepting is a prerogative, the answer, the key.
