*pasko na sinta ko, hanaphanap kita...* sang the Komusikasyon Club, hours ago in the Assumpta Theater, as all the students of Assumption Antipolo, together with the faculty, gathered to celebrate the last school day of year 2004... and i couldn't agree more. pasko na, at hinahanap-hanap ko ang aking dating sinisinta. ;) as goosebumps formed on my arms and at the back of my neck because of the poignancy, and the bittersweetness of that moment, it finally dawned on me: PASKO NA NGA. and a sunburst of energy, and a spurt of hope blossomed in my heart. seemed like my gone were the worries of yesterday, gone were the suicidal thoughts of moments ago... this day has been one of the longest school days i've ever been through [literally, coz we were in school from 7:00 am to 6:00 p.m.], and it has also been one of the funnest and craziest days i've ever spent in the walls of Assumption Antipolo. i got the chance to bond some more with the SC [my partner, Grace, gave me a PUCCA bag!!!! vintage-y looking pa siya, so uber asTeeg!], i also bonded with the 'kada [my exchange gift paddner, Nicatots, gave me a pink shirt! and assorted kikay goodies!!! :D], and lastly, i got to be with my batchmates [we played funky games.... sobrang saya. bring me! :))] sa lahat ng mga toh, i realized one important thing: na desidido na akong hindi ako mag-rurun for rep next year. its so hard, so freakin' lonely up in the mountain... tas sobrang may mga bagay na nalalaman tungkol sa batch na sana hindi ko na lang nalaman... parang nakakadismaya, nakakadisappoint. you've been reaching for something, pero ung something na un, hindi naman pala kung ano ung inaakala mo.... vague ba? vague talaga dapat! :))syempre i got a bit saddo... but still, at least na klaro na un sa utak ko. no more doubts. solid na. crystal clear. hmm..... nung pauwi na, uber kudos coz i got the visual plan of the prom back na. and uber cool coz ms. arcads, ms. aguils, and sr. carls signed it agad! of course may minor revisions sa rationale and stuff pero, super minor lang. tas pinayagan pa na half a centimeter thick lang ung straps, and asymmetrical tops gusto payagan ng A-Team! uber cool noh? sila pa ung nangungunsinting magshow ng bittof zkin! :)) super, xmas gift talaga toh. na masignan agad ung vish plan. God is gwweat! yeahbanez! hmm... 2 weeks away from school... i'm gonna miss my buddies ever so much. but in any case, this temporary respite from the rigors of high school life is very much welcome. my body is sated, my mind is at rest. and though my heart is still mending, i feel its complete recovery shall come soon. for now, the world is pristine in my eyes. for now, for now... i wonder how long this moment will last, for people say that happiness is the most elusive of wonders, and that when it comes, it is sudden and abrupt, like a fleeting glance that seers an image of something beautiful into your brain. "How happy is the blameless Vestal's lot! / The world forgetting, by the world forgot / Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind! / Each pray'r accepted, and each wish resign'd." -Alexander Pope, 'Eloisa to Abelard'
definitely no longer searching for utopia, an ergaslophobic student and aspiring thespian, a true blue Filipina and Assumptionist, existing in a state of utter discombobulation, *BROKE*, and fattening myself up in time for the next human sacrifice ritual in tondo, manila...
Stars and Nebulas
aLi
bea
cathy
caMs
[[twinstaR]]
[[fRienD]]
kaTrina
gaDDi
iSSa
jOnesie
[[myky]]
[[nica]]
pam
[[stephie]]
synty
[[tasia]]
trizza
wissa
Flight
Alanis Morissette
Carbon Stereoxide Studio Notes
Cold Play
Dashboard Confessional
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Haruki Murakami
Milk&Cereal
Miss Saigon
Paulo Coelho
Rent - the Musicale
Shawn Mullins
System of a Down
The Simpsons
The Sims
The Used
::Credits::
Image By:
|j3concepts|
Layout By:
|Niknoi|
||December 2004
|January 2005
|February 2005
|March 2005
|April 2005
|May 2005
|June 2005
==:::A Few Friendly Reminders from your Resident Sane Psycho:::==
life is an unequivocally fast paced string of events, where the essence of a lifetime can be captured in a single breath, love can develop in a second, and where a long journey can feel like just another ride in the metro rail...
so put on your pink tinted glasses, wear your cheesiest smile. life's too short and much too precious to waste with the frivolities of a shallow existence.
let's limbo!
change is the only constant thing in life.
though it is most difficult to cope with change, we must.
it is survival. it is evolution.
but then again,
what if this change is brought about by paranormal sensations and emotions, unforeseen circumstances, hormonal imbalances, and... the weather?
what if this change is caused by things that are not things. forces that are immaterial?
how do we cope?
how do we end the relentless and crazed see-saw of intense emotions churning deep within us?
how do we stop misery?
how do we prolong happiness?
with a four millimeter bullet?
with a cup of peppermint-tasting cyanide?
with prayer?
i don't know.
i can't even begin to pretend to know, or to comprehend.
and i'm sure,
neither can you.
and it scares me.
it scares us.
that this we cannot understand.
everything else --science, mathematics, ratios, proportions, wars, peace talks, chocolate sprinkles and gum drops, ponies and rabbits, Nobel awards-- we know.
but this,
this simple shift of light and darkness,
this slight distinction,
this sudden rearranging of matter, molecules, and sensations.
this indescribable phenomena.
this we cannot even begin to grasp.
illogical, senseless, strange, odd.
fleeting, momentous, gargantuan, colossal.
what is the meaning behind this change in mood? in feeling?
what is the real root? the common cause?
perhaps we have been doomed to be this way.
to not understand.
to be left in the dark.
doomed to be able to adapt with everything else but this simple swing.
this simplistic issue.
never to find a way to evolve around it.
but perhaps.... in this case,
evolution is not survival.
for if you can just grin and bear it.
take it for what it is.
let go of the logic behind it.
perhaps then, survival is possible.
change is not imperative.
accepting is a prerogative, the answer, the key.