i'm so proud of my barkada. they took "it" without a word of complaint, without whinning, without creating the most melodramatic and equally fantastically fictional scenes their beautiful minds can conjure.
...there's just too much shite happening these days. i'm finding it ever so difficult to cope. with all that's occurring i--we--are all forced [yes, that's the most appropriate word for this situation] to mature, to grow up.
didn't "they" tell us to savor our childhood? to not try the "adult stuff" yet? well, this certainly is a fairly huge dose of "adult stuff" for me already.
for once [in the risk of sounding like a spoiled little brat who was born a bitch and has been raised to become a professional mean girl], for just once, i don't want to think about anybody else, anything else. i don't want to think about the consequences of my actions, or the effects that they can induce. i want to focus on having fun, on being happy, and on finding satisfaction. haven't i done enough? i've bled my self dry. <<==[this actually IS quite literal as when i have my menstrual period, i have it only for a few days and there are but tiny droplets of bloodoe that come out. the doctor explains this phenomenon the usual way any doctor would explain it: stress. yes. stress. kills. that's why i've died a hundred times over]
somebody save me from this hell hole! i'm bound to be stuck here forever... take me away. i want to be a kid. just for once, i want to be able to act my age. just for a few minutes...
if ever i were to own an answering machine, i'll use this quote vertabrim:
"Leave your conscience at the tone." --What You Own [from the Broadway Musical, RENT]
definitely no longer searching for utopia, an ergaslophobic student and aspiring thespian, a true blue Filipina and Assumptionist, existing in a state of utter discombobulation, *BROKE*, and fattening myself up in time for the next human sacrifice ritual in tondo, manila...
Stars and Nebulas
aLi
bea
cathy
caMs
[[twinstaR]]
[[fRienD]]
kaTrina
gaDDi
iSSa
jOnesie
[[myky]]
[[nica]]
pam
[[stephie]]
synty
[[tasia]]
trizza
wissa
Flight
Alanis Morissette
Carbon Stereoxide Studio Notes
Cold Play
Dashboard Confessional
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Haruki Murakami
Milk&Cereal
Miss Saigon
Paulo Coelho
Rent - the Musicale
Shawn Mullins
System of a Down
The Simpsons
The Sims
The Used
::Credits::
Image By:
|j3concepts|
Layout By:
|Niknoi|
||December 2004
|January 2005
|February 2005
|March 2005
|April 2005
|May 2005
|June 2005
==:::A Few Friendly Reminders from your Resident Sane Psycho:::==
life is an unequivocally fast paced string of events, where the essence of a lifetime can be captured in a single breath, love can develop in a second, and where a long journey can feel like just another ride in the metro rail...
so put on your pink tinted glasses, wear your cheesiest smile. life's too short and much too precious to waste with the frivolities of a shallow existence.
let's limbo!
change is the only constant thing in life.
though it is most difficult to cope with change, we must.
it is survival. it is evolution.
but then again,
what if this change is brought about by paranormal sensations and emotions, unforeseen circumstances, hormonal imbalances, and... the weather?
what if this change is caused by things that are not things. forces that are immaterial?
how do we cope?
how do we end the relentless and crazed see-saw of intense emotions churning deep within us?
how do we stop misery?
how do we prolong happiness?
with a four millimeter bullet?
with a cup of peppermint-tasting cyanide?
with prayer?
i don't know.
i can't even begin to pretend to know, or to comprehend.
and i'm sure,
neither can you.
and it scares me.
it scares us.
that this we cannot understand.
everything else --science, mathematics, ratios, proportions, wars, peace talks, chocolate sprinkles and gum drops, ponies and rabbits, Nobel awards-- we know.
but this,
this simple shift of light and darkness,
this slight distinction,
this sudden rearranging of matter, molecules, and sensations.
this indescribable phenomena.
this we cannot even begin to grasp.
illogical, senseless, strange, odd.
fleeting, momentous, gargantuan, colossal.
what is the meaning behind this change in mood? in feeling?
what is the real root? the common cause?
perhaps we have been doomed to be this way.
to not understand.
to be left in the dark.
doomed to be able to adapt with everything else but this simple swing.
this simplistic issue.
never to find a way to evolve around it.
but perhaps.... in this case,
evolution is not survival.
for if you can just grin and bear it.
take it for what it is.
let go of the logic behind it.
perhaps then, survival is possible.
change is not imperative.
accepting is a prerogative, the answer, the key.
