AM I NOT ALLOWED TO ENJOY EVEN AT LEAST 2 CONSECUTIVE HOURS OF EXTREME HAPPINESS?!
when i'm uber angry with my parents [especially with my mom] i usually resort to 2 things to release the negative vibes running 'round my whole being: a. i play really loud, highly amplified, mad rock music and shut up and b. i take out this tattered old box from my closet, open it, and read all the birthday cards they wrote me in the past. it kinda reminds me that somewhere inside their irritatingly bossy, strict, stupid, and senseless yokoravatoekikies, they still care for me... or at least they go to extraordinary pains and means to pretend to feel so.
i'm angry with my mom right now.
so i'm listening to the "rock channel" of messenger.
i was so happy just a while ago. then she had to come, and rain shit down on all my plans for tomorrow.
AS IF MAY GAGAWIN AKONG KAGAGUHAN WITH MY FRIENDS RIGHT? AND AS IF HINDI PA NIYA KILALA SI CHINO! GRRRRRR! ULTIMATE RAWR MOMENT!
what the hell does she want to say to chino anyway? sobrang desperadong makita si chino.... isang malaking KALABUAN!
~*~
at dahil sa sobrang naasar ako ngayong kasalukuyang panahon ay... dalawa ang kantang ilalagay ko dito.
"If this doesn't make you smile
You don't have to cry
If this isn't making sense
It doesn't make it lies..."
-Soundgarden's Superunknown
"Don't the best of them bleed it out
While the rest of them peter out?"
-Foo Fighters' My Hero
definitely no longer searching for utopia, an ergaslophobic student and aspiring thespian, a true blue Filipina and Assumptionist, existing in a state of utter discombobulation, *BROKE*, and fattening myself up in time for the next human sacrifice ritual in tondo, manila...
Stars and Nebulas
aLi
bea
cathy
caMs
[[twinstaR]]
[[fRienD]]
kaTrina
gaDDi
iSSa
jOnesie
[[myky]]
[[nica]]
pam
[[stephie]]
synty
[[tasia]]
trizza
wissa
Flight
Alanis Morissette
Carbon Stereoxide Studio Notes
Cold Play
Dashboard Confessional
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Haruki Murakami
Milk&Cereal
Miss Saigon
Paulo Coelho
Rent - the Musicale
Shawn Mullins
System of a Down
The Simpsons
The Sims
The Used
::Credits::
Image By:
|j3concepts|
Layout By:
|Niknoi|
||December 2004
|January 2005
|February 2005
|March 2005
|April 2005
|May 2005
|June 2005
==:::A Few Friendly Reminders from your Resident Sane Psycho:::==
life is an unequivocally fast paced string of events, where the essence of a lifetime can be captured in a single breath, love can develop in a second, and where a long journey can feel like just another ride in the metro rail...
so put on your pink tinted glasses, wear your cheesiest smile. life's too short and much too precious to waste with the frivolities of a shallow existence.
let's limbo!
change is the only constant thing in life.
though it is most difficult to cope with change, we must.
it is survival. it is evolution.
but then again,
what if this change is brought about by paranormal sensations and emotions, unforeseen circumstances, hormonal imbalances, and... the weather?
what if this change is caused by things that are not things. forces that are immaterial?
how do we cope?
how do we end the relentless and crazed see-saw of intense emotions churning deep within us?
how do we stop misery?
how do we prolong happiness?
with a four millimeter bullet?
with a cup of peppermint-tasting cyanide?
with prayer?
i don't know.
i can't even begin to pretend to know, or to comprehend.
and i'm sure,
neither can you.
and it scares me.
it scares us.
that this we cannot understand.
everything else --science, mathematics, ratios, proportions, wars, peace talks, chocolate sprinkles and gum drops, ponies and rabbits, Nobel awards-- we know.
but this,
this simple shift of light and darkness,
this slight distinction,
this sudden rearranging of matter, molecules, and sensations.
this indescribable phenomena.
this we cannot even begin to grasp.
illogical, senseless, strange, odd.
fleeting, momentous, gargantuan, colossal.
what is the meaning behind this change in mood? in feeling?
what is the real root? the common cause?
perhaps we have been doomed to be this way.
to not understand.
to be left in the dark.
doomed to be able to adapt with everything else but this simple swing.
this simplistic issue.
never to find a way to evolve around it.
but perhaps.... in this case,
evolution is not survival.
for if you can just grin and bear it.
take it for what it is.
let go of the logic behind it.
perhaps then, survival is possible.
change is not imperative.
accepting is a prerogative, the answer, the key.