and i'd just like to say...
oo maganda ang first impression. but if the situation deteriorates with each moment that passes by... i'd rather that the first impression be the last impression a person makes on me. at least that way, though we never meet again, the mental image of that person in my mind would be exceptionally wonderful.
if only it all ended last january, then perhaps i'd still have the same alcoholic butterflies in my stomach everytime i think about mr. ningas cugon / kaching-kaching / barney.
in any case, i've learned my lesson. graduate na ako sa mga gentleman for one night only.
maybe i should have just met him for the first time yesterday. perhaps then, i would have had a much more enjoyable night.
~*~
on a lighter note, i had fun yesterday night because of my batchmates. they all made me so proud. everybody's growing up at such an alarmingly fast rate. need tah catch up, don't wanna get left behind ;)
steph and jusjus looked absolutely cute together. they were just so comfortable with one another... super enviable. andy looked like a gypsy princess, and her date [though he seemed as if he was incapable of speech] seemed to be able to make her extremely happy. tasia was having a beautiful time with miles... i'm so glad they're back to normal bliss terms. inna looked stunning in her "impromptu" gown, and her date JJ made prom night entertaining, wacky, and enjoyable... though there were more than just a few times that he made absolutely hitting-below-the-belt lines. ian and myky were so sweet to each other... haay, the lovers nga naman. and nica and migs wouldn't get off the dancefloor! hahaha. they really partied the night away, and migs made nica so happy... yeah, he was uber nice! not to mention... pleasant looking. mwahahaha. and of course, twin star and glennoid looked absolutely top notch. yaher! models! mwahahaha.
as for me... i was locked up in a 700 foot tall tower with no food and water. i died more of boredom than starvation after 3 seconds.
mwahaha.
~*~
this will be the last night that i spend with you.
and though you qualify as one of the biggest weirdoes jerkoes i've ever known.
i still... in a way... like you like you.
and i'm hating myself for it.
but i know...
everything'll be alright.
coz time helps love fade away.
~*~
i'm anxious of what will happen next week. we've got dozens of tests, meetings for the medical dental mission preparations, and the campaign period for the SCAA thing.
i want to back out.... but... i don't want to break inna's heart.
its secretary or nothing... just as inna says.
coz i definitely do not want to go through another hell like this again. no matter how rewarding it is to see the look of satisfaction in the faces of others.
i AM selfish. and perhaps... next year, i'd like to find my own happiness and peace of mind before i bend over backwards for the sake of others.
i should be struck by lightning any time now... (bwahahaha)
besides, i don't think people would want me as an officer anymore. i've messed up pretty bad this year... and i don't think no one noticed.
~*~
Now that I have found someone
I'm feeling more alone
Than I ever have before
She's a brick and I'm drowning slowly
off the coast and I'm headed nowhere
She's a brick and I'm drowning slowly...
-Brick by Ben Folds Five
definitely no longer searching for utopia, an ergaslophobic student and aspiring thespian, a true blue Filipina and Assumptionist, existing in a state of utter discombobulation, *BROKE*, and fattening myself up in time for the next human sacrifice ritual in tondo, manila...
Stars and Nebulas
aLi
bea
cathy
caMs
[[twinstaR]]
[[fRienD]]
kaTrina
gaDDi
iSSa
jOnesie
[[myky]]
[[nica]]
pam
[[stephie]]
synty
[[tasia]]
trizza
wissa
Flight
Alanis Morissette
Carbon Stereoxide Studio Notes
Cold Play
Dashboard Confessional
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Haruki Murakami
Milk&Cereal
Miss Saigon
Paulo Coelho
Rent - the Musicale
Shawn Mullins
System of a Down
The Simpsons
The Sims
The Used
::Credits::
Image By:
|j3concepts|
Layout By:
|Niknoi|
||December 2004
|January 2005
|February 2005
|March 2005
|April 2005
|May 2005
|June 2005
==:::A Few Friendly Reminders from your Resident Sane Psycho:::==
life is an unequivocally fast paced string of events, where the essence of a lifetime can be captured in a single breath, love can develop in a second, and where a long journey can feel like just another ride in the metro rail...
so put on your pink tinted glasses, wear your cheesiest smile. life's too short and much too precious to waste with the frivolities of a shallow existence.
let's limbo!
change is the only constant thing in life.
though it is most difficult to cope with change, we must.
it is survival. it is evolution.
but then again,
what if this change is brought about by paranormal sensations and emotions, unforeseen circumstances, hormonal imbalances, and... the weather?
what if this change is caused by things that are not things. forces that are immaterial?
how do we cope?
how do we end the relentless and crazed see-saw of intense emotions churning deep within us?
how do we stop misery?
how do we prolong happiness?
with a four millimeter bullet?
with a cup of peppermint-tasting cyanide?
with prayer?
i don't know.
i can't even begin to pretend to know, or to comprehend.
and i'm sure,
neither can you.
and it scares me.
it scares us.
that this we cannot understand.
everything else --science, mathematics, ratios, proportions, wars, peace talks, chocolate sprinkles and gum drops, ponies and rabbits, Nobel awards-- we know.
but this,
this simple shift of light and darkness,
this slight distinction,
this sudden rearranging of matter, molecules, and sensations.
this indescribable phenomena.
this we cannot even begin to grasp.
illogical, senseless, strange, odd.
fleeting, momentous, gargantuan, colossal.
what is the meaning behind this change in mood? in feeling?
what is the real root? the common cause?
perhaps we have been doomed to be this way.
to not understand.
to be left in the dark.
doomed to be able to adapt with everything else but this simple swing.
this simplistic issue.
never to find a way to evolve around it.
but perhaps.... in this case,
evolution is not survival.
for if you can just grin and bear it.
take it for what it is.
let go of the logic behind it.
perhaps then, survival is possible.
change is not imperative.
accepting is a prerogative, the answer, the key.