just a few weeks ago i told my self that i had probably done, if not the best, at least enough...
but now...
*sigh*
~*~
a year end evaluation of my junior life...
hrmm....
perhaps the most effective way to do that is to list down the most signifcant people who have touched my life this year... and why...
so here goes a long long long list...
numero uno: GOD.
pag wala nang makausap, at hindi na alam ang gagawin... pikit lang ang mata at nandyan na. no questions asked.
#2: si friend
mapa iyakan man, dramahan, tawanan, o ututan... siyang tunay na maaasahan. haay... chelly... always there when my eyes are disintegrating into tiny slits of nothing, pagnagmumugto na ang mga mata ko't di ko na alam kung paano ibuhos sa mundo ang hinanakit ko... even though we weren't classmates this year... nadama ko... nandyan siya. NO QUESTIONS ASKED. kahit anong mangyari, hindi niya ko iiwanan. alam ko un. kasi... (SECRET!) siya ung taong unang naaalala pagnakakabasa ng mga quote na: 'what if you never met this person?' ...what if nga ba? ...i'm afraid to ask.
#3: si remedios
ang batang palagi na lang nagiinspire sa akin. she inspired me to run for office last year, and this year she encouraged me, and willed me to go on. my security blanket, my sound board, my rant mate... she'd probably be the human equivalent of the literary phrase: 'o captain my captain' for me. kasi... in times that i really have no idea what to do, and i feel as if my strength's desserting me... she's there to lend a hand, a shoulder... and all other necessary (and sometimes extremely unneccessary, if you know what i mean) body parts...
#4 si lorra
MERGWAWAH. grabe... hindi niya siguro alam kung gaano.... ka.... GRABE! ...nangyari na lahat ng misunderstanding, lahat ng hindimomaintindihangmgakababalaghansabuhayngtao... i looked up to this girl, ever since tumuntong ako ng year I... and now... i find myself looking up to her more...? WOOHOO... nababarok na ako. pero really... idol ko si lorra. bakit? kasi alam ko kahit ano mang mangyari.... hindi kami magkakawatakan. dahil naiintindihan niya kung bakit nagawa ang mga nagawa at bakit nangyari ang mga nangyari. un na yun! simula't sapul!
#5 ang fudge.
si giselle mikhaela crisostomo enriquez kaya ako ngayon kung hindi ko nakasama si nica rodriguez, andrea dela cruz, stephanie lucero, celine estrada, nastasia padilla, leonina morillo, at maika valera? ISANG MALAKING: HELL NO!
#6 ang tropa
makita ko lang ang mukha ng mga babaeng ito... enough to make a crappy day worth it. these people, though we don't get to be together that much... have earned a big place in my heart... dahil... binigyan nila ako ng puso.
#7 ang mga class head
the prom, the interaction, and all the other mashizky activities would never have had taken place kung wala tong mga gorjozity na mga ito. si camille na tinatawag kong grant my love, na parang kulang na lang ay kainin ko na. si jilli, na hango sa mga kwento niya sa buhay ay napapasaya ako dahil alam kong nariyan siya kung may kailangan man ako, si kate na nagpapaalala sa akin ng pamu days at pinapamangha ako sa kagalingan ng diyos sa mundo, at si izza... ever darling seatmate, mula sa mga linyang: lets take off our blouses, duduraan kita, at lahat na ng mga weirdly inappropriate songs sa mundo... panalong seatmate tong berbosang ito.
#8 the comheads
can't help but smile whenever i remember them... closed eyes, dito sa bahay... mukhang mga timang pero sobrang astig... service embodied and personified. they make me want to become a better person.
and #9... the batch.
stars... my guiding light... they remind me why i ran in the first place... each and every single tiring day.
:)
un muna....
kulang pa...
pero un muna...
definitely no longer searching for utopia, an ergaslophobic student and aspiring thespian, a true blue Filipina and Assumptionist, existing in a state of utter discombobulation, *BROKE*, and fattening myself up in time for the next human sacrifice ritual in tondo, manila...
Stars and Nebulas
aLi
bea
cathy
caMs
[[twinstaR]]
[[fRienD]]
kaTrina
gaDDi
iSSa
jOnesie
[[myky]]
[[nica]]
pam
[[stephie]]
synty
[[tasia]]
trizza
wissa
Flight
Alanis Morissette
Carbon Stereoxide Studio Notes
Cold Play
Dashboard Confessional
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Haruki Murakami
Milk&Cereal
Miss Saigon
Paulo Coelho
Rent - the Musicale
Shawn Mullins
System of a Down
The Simpsons
The Sims
The Used
::Credits::
Image By:
|j3concepts|
Layout By:
|Niknoi|
||December 2004
|January 2005
|February 2005
|March 2005
|April 2005
|May 2005
|June 2005
==:::A Few Friendly Reminders from your Resident Sane Psycho:::==
life is an unequivocally fast paced string of events, where the essence of a lifetime can be captured in a single breath, love can develop in a second, and where a long journey can feel like just another ride in the metro rail...
so put on your pink tinted glasses, wear your cheesiest smile. life's too short and much too precious to waste with the frivolities of a shallow existence.
let's limbo!
change is the only constant thing in life.
though it is most difficult to cope with change, we must.
it is survival. it is evolution.
but then again,
what if this change is brought about by paranormal sensations and emotions, unforeseen circumstances, hormonal imbalances, and... the weather?
what if this change is caused by things that are not things. forces that are immaterial?
how do we cope?
how do we end the relentless and crazed see-saw of intense emotions churning deep within us?
how do we stop misery?
how do we prolong happiness?
with a four millimeter bullet?
with a cup of peppermint-tasting cyanide?
with prayer?
i don't know.
i can't even begin to pretend to know, or to comprehend.
and i'm sure,
neither can you.
and it scares me.
it scares us.
that this we cannot understand.
everything else --science, mathematics, ratios, proportions, wars, peace talks, chocolate sprinkles and gum drops, ponies and rabbits, Nobel awards-- we know.
but this,
this simple shift of light and darkness,
this slight distinction,
this sudden rearranging of matter, molecules, and sensations.
this indescribable phenomena.
this we cannot even begin to grasp.
illogical, senseless, strange, odd.
fleeting, momentous, gargantuan, colossal.
what is the meaning behind this change in mood? in feeling?
what is the real root? the common cause?
perhaps we have been doomed to be this way.
to not understand.
to be left in the dark.
doomed to be able to adapt with everything else but this simple swing.
this simplistic issue.
never to find a way to evolve around it.
but perhaps.... in this case,
evolution is not survival.
for if you can just grin and bear it.
take it for what it is.
let go of the logic behind it.
perhaps then, survival is possible.
change is not imperative.
accepting is a prerogative, the answer, the key.