its been quite a while since the last time i was given the chance to just sit back, relax and ponder over the events of the past coupl'a weeks.
chaotic. frazzled. soup-ie. words that sum up and accurately describe the utter shiteness that has been my life lately.
i'm having a hard time just keeping my head up. gawd! i don't want to go to school anymore! i fall into a deep trance the moment i get in the van every school day morning. i'm barely myself in school, and i stare into space til the final bell rings, signaling the end of yet another morose and mundane day.
sigh...
agh...
i really hate this feeling.
na maraming tao ang galit sayo.
kahit na wala ka namang sinasadyang gawin.
gawd.
~*~
the official campaign period for this year's scaa elections ended today. we'll be having the meeting de avance on monday, ssrrrm period. i can't say that i'm getting the jitters or that i'm getting totally nervous. i feel kinda numb towards this issue. not only coz its been ever so stressful, but also... because it has jeopardized and tarnished my friendship with a person that has meant a lot to me ever since the beginning of high school... i don't know what's wrong with her, but for some reason, she does not treat me the same way anymore as before. oh well...
...went out with fudge today to celebrate leonin's bday. we made a detour in myky's house to get a few things, and went straight to UP after classes. we arrived around six thirty at the Bahay ng Alumni, sat around, waited for our names to be called to get seats at Chocolate Kiss. hmm... no wonder my sister loves eating in that resto. there food's totally fabbity fab! WOOHOO! i think i gained back all the weight i shed before the prom. TOTAL PIG OUT, DUDES! i ate: a plate of carbonara w/ buttered garlic bread, a serving of hickory spareribs w/ garlic onion mashed potato, and a bowl of mushroom soup. in addition to these... i had nibbles and bites off my friends' desserts. got a taste of a thousand kinds of cakes... mwahaha.
after eating at chockiss we went to the film center where we viewed a few scenes of this spanish indie art flick. yeah! free admission! muchos kewloe! i soooo love UP! i hope i pass the UPCAT... really can't think of any other school i'd like to go to.
the only weird thing that happend was while we were on our way to the stat building. we were walking along the road when this red card drove past and a freak from inside shouted: hey! and we were like... whatever, shut your face!!! we all just decided to let em slide and we walked faster. then suddenly, the car started going on reverse and we were like.............. shooot!!! mergwawah! hehehe.
but... needless to say, the freaks left us alone. and now... i'm at home... with tasia... watching my best friend's wedding for the nth time. yeah... the lonely hearts club. mwahahaha.
i had a lot of fun hanging out with my kada. just letting loose and letting go of everything else that's been haunting my mind for the past few weeks... grabe... god is great!
by tomorrow morning, reality would once again regain its grasp on my fragile being. but hey... the moon's still up, and the sun's still a hundred light years from oblivion.
...i'll dance the night away... and wish real hard... that i wake up to find a different something in this world, and me...
~*~
I tried to tell myself that I'd be over you in a week or two
But baby that was 'bout a year ago
I've never seen the word love so personified as I do with you
And that is why I just can't let go, oh no
-Joss Stone's Spoiled
definitely no longer searching for utopia, an ergaslophobic student and aspiring thespian, a true blue Filipina and Assumptionist, existing in a state of utter discombobulation, *BROKE*, and fattening myself up in time for the next human sacrifice ritual in tondo, manila...
Stars and Nebulas
aLi
bea
cathy
caMs
[[twinstaR]]
[[fRienD]]
kaTrina
gaDDi
iSSa
jOnesie
[[myky]]
[[nica]]
pam
[[stephie]]
synty
[[tasia]]
trizza
wissa
Flight
Alanis Morissette
Carbon Stereoxide Studio Notes
Cold Play
Dashboard Confessional
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Haruki Murakami
Milk&Cereal
Miss Saigon
Paulo Coelho
Rent - the Musicale
Shawn Mullins
System of a Down
The Simpsons
The Sims
The Used
::Credits::
Image By:
|j3concepts|
Layout By:
|Niknoi|
||December 2004
|January 2005
|February 2005
|March 2005
|April 2005
|May 2005
|June 2005
==:::A Few Friendly Reminders from your Resident Sane Psycho:::==
life is an unequivocally fast paced string of events, where the essence of a lifetime can be captured in a single breath, love can develop in a second, and where a long journey can feel like just another ride in the metro rail...
so put on your pink tinted glasses, wear your cheesiest smile. life's too short and much too precious to waste with the frivolities of a shallow existence.
let's limbo!
change is the only constant thing in life.
though it is most difficult to cope with change, we must.
it is survival. it is evolution.
but then again,
what if this change is brought about by paranormal sensations and emotions, unforeseen circumstances, hormonal imbalances, and... the weather?
what if this change is caused by things that are not things. forces that are immaterial?
how do we cope?
how do we end the relentless and crazed see-saw of intense emotions churning deep within us?
how do we stop misery?
how do we prolong happiness?
with a four millimeter bullet?
with a cup of peppermint-tasting cyanide?
with prayer?
i don't know.
i can't even begin to pretend to know, or to comprehend.
and i'm sure,
neither can you.
and it scares me.
it scares us.
that this we cannot understand.
everything else --science, mathematics, ratios, proportions, wars, peace talks, chocolate sprinkles and gum drops, ponies and rabbits, Nobel awards-- we know.
but this,
this simple shift of light and darkness,
this slight distinction,
this sudden rearranging of matter, molecules, and sensations.
this indescribable phenomena.
this we cannot even begin to grasp.
illogical, senseless, strange, odd.
fleeting, momentous, gargantuan, colossal.
what is the meaning behind this change in mood? in feeling?
what is the real root? the common cause?
perhaps we have been doomed to be this way.
to not understand.
to be left in the dark.
doomed to be able to adapt with everything else but this simple swing.
this simplistic issue.
never to find a way to evolve around it.
but perhaps.... in this case,
evolution is not survival.
for if you can just grin and bear it.
take it for what it is.
let go of the logic behind it.
perhaps then, survival is possible.
change is not imperative.
accepting is a prerogative, the answer, the key.