never thought...
in a million years...
that i would ever...
EVER...
find myself in...
an...
INTERNET CAFE.
mwahahahaha...
ahh... the lovely experience of placing one's fingers over a more-than-just-a-bit-filthy-key-board that has been caressed and touched by a million other people infected with god knows what. hahahaha... i sound like such a conotic weirdoe right now... ishouldbeshot! [ookay, the person beside me's screaming: pare! pasali naman diyan, 3 on 3! sige na!!! hinahamon ko kayoooo!!!] << [i wonder what they're playing? counter strike?? ragnarok? ? nyahahaha... 've never been much of the gaming type...]
since i have nothing better to do i shall use this time to rant and rave like a freakin effed up lunatic.
hinanakit sa mundo number 1: why the hell do i keep on getting fatter? i mean... ayt ayt, i DO eat like an effin pig, but hey!!! grr. dem it. must must muchos must save money for lipo. herm... dra. belo, when can i drop by your clinic?
hinanakit sa mundo number 2: why the hell am i SO effin small?! a while ago, we were answering some exercises for our english class and i was tasked to write my answer somewhere along the northern most regions of the blackboard. my classmates were laughing and crap, saying: oyy, you need a stool dear... GRRMMM... WHATEVER!! SMALL PEOPLE ARE CUTE RIN NAMAN EH! hehehehe...
hinanakit sa mundo number 3: why is my mother OHWAYS late? ohways, ohways, ohways late! for the love of creation, you'd think she'd want me to get home safely!
hinanakit sa mundo number 4: why do people who suddenly become extra thin think they're better than the rest of us? aba, aba, aba... payat ka nga dear, panget ka naman... divuh? a pretty face is much better than one that's four sizes too small.
aryt. must stop sounding like a whiner. HRRMMM... I AM A POSITIVE THINKER I AM A POSITIVE THINKER I AM A POSITIVE THINKER.
denggit.
hormones...
~*~
i had quite an interesting day today. i left home a bit early since i was (once again) riding with vatti. i arrived in expert guides around seven thirty, and was surprised to see that nica and steph were already there. apparently, they had placed a bet the previous day that whoever shall arrive late will treat the 'kada lunch food. NICE.
our professor arrived late so i had some snooze time before class started. i was actually kind of relieved that we had english today because i wasn't really able to get much sleep last night. good thing we tackled a subject that isn't ever so brain bashing, if it had been math 3 or 4, i wouldn't be alive to key in this entry right now... class wasn't eventful, we had 2 tests (one for reading comprehension -- muder murder murder; and another to evaluate whether we actually listened to the lecture -- double murder murder murder), some exercises, and class crap. won't ever forget the time madame teresa threw a pochi at our classmate. nyahahaha... wala lang... benta mahn...
mutti's kinda exhausted right now, she's been running around the metro trying to finalize the details for the luncheon we'll be hosting this coming thursday for chai nita. hrrmm... i think we're having lechon. ooh-la-la. CALORIES!!!
there really isn't much to write about, cept that i've been feeling unusually crappy these past few days. frustration coupled with poorly concealed ire can drive a person insane. i should know... i'm barely holding on to reason and clarity! hahaha.
~*~
i've decided on what to actually do about hinanakit sa mundo number 5 (which i did not bother to elaborate on).
i'm going to stop holding back.
it's time to let go of the fears and doubts and questions.
no use holding back.
gotta let go...
~*~
high point of the day: my best friend chelly dropped by at big r and gave me the pasalubong she bought for me when she went to baguio with cherry's family. yum yum! strawberries and choco flakes!!! can't wait to gulp em all down! hahahaha. :)
~*~
don't really know how to end this entry. and since i have no idea, and i'm feeling much too lazy to google up a kick ass quote or song, i'll leave it like this. hanging, unfinished... tomorrow's soon enough to write another saddoe entry...
definitely no longer searching for utopia, an ergaslophobic student and aspiring thespian, a true blue Filipina and Assumptionist, existing in a state of utter discombobulation, *BROKE*, and fattening myself up in time for the next human sacrifice ritual in tondo, manila...
Stars and Nebulas
aLi
bea
cathy
caMs
[[twinstaR]]
[[fRienD]]
kaTrina
gaDDi
iSSa
jOnesie
[[myky]]
[[nica]]
pam
[[stephie]]
synty
[[tasia]]
trizza
wissa
Flight
Alanis Morissette
Carbon Stereoxide Studio Notes
Cold Play
Dashboard Confessional
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Haruki Murakami
Milk&Cereal
Miss Saigon
Paulo Coelho
Rent - the Musicale
Shawn Mullins
System of a Down
The Simpsons
The Sims
The Used
::Credits::
Image By:
|j3concepts|
Layout By:
|Niknoi|
||December 2004
|January 2005
|February 2005
|March 2005
|April 2005
|May 2005
|June 2005
==:::A Few Friendly Reminders from your Resident Sane Psycho:::==
life is an unequivocally fast paced string of events, where the essence of a lifetime can be captured in a single breath, love can develop in a second, and where a long journey can feel like just another ride in the metro rail...
so put on your pink tinted glasses, wear your cheesiest smile. life's too short and much too precious to waste with the frivolities of a shallow existence.
let's limbo!
change is the only constant thing in life.
though it is most difficult to cope with change, we must.
it is survival. it is evolution.
but then again,
what if this change is brought about by paranormal sensations and emotions, unforeseen circumstances, hormonal imbalances, and... the weather?
what if this change is caused by things that are not things. forces that are immaterial?
how do we cope?
how do we end the relentless and crazed see-saw of intense emotions churning deep within us?
how do we stop misery?
how do we prolong happiness?
with a four millimeter bullet?
with a cup of peppermint-tasting cyanide?
with prayer?
i don't know.
i can't even begin to pretend to know, or to comprehend.
and i'm sure,
neither can you.
and it scares me.
it scares us.
that this we cannot understand.
everything else --science, mathematics, ratios, proportions, wars, peace talks, chocolate sprinkles and gum drops, ponies and rabbits, Nobel awards-- we know.
but this,
this simple shift of light and darkness,
this slight distinction,
this sudden rearranging of matter, molecules, and sensations.
this indescribable phenomena.
this we cannot even begin to grasp.
illogical, senseless, strange, odd.
fleeting, momentous, gargantuan, colossal.
what is the meaning behind this change in mood? in feeling?
what is the real root? the common cause?
perhaps we have been doomed to be this way.
to not understand.
to be left in the dark.
doomed to be able to adapt with everything else but this simple swing.
this simplistic issue.
never to find a way to evolve around it.
but perhaps.... in this case,
evolution is not survival.
for if you can just grin and bear it.
take it for what it is.
let go of the logic behind it.
perhaps then, survival is possible.
change is not imperative.
accepting is a prerogative, the answer, the key.